Oh Dooce, your insight into life astounds me.

"M&M's make everything better, even the bitter taste of awkward, lonely nights spent waxing my mustache instead of screwing my TA."

Talk me down from this french fry ledge...

Would Mc Donald's every day until finals be an awful, expensive thing? Yes. Does that make me stop wanting french fries? Not at all.

A wise man

This might be my favorite picture of all time

K.D.

So applicable to my life in every way

K.D.

Obsessed with these two songs...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=if-UzXIQ5vw&ob=av2e

Somehow I have overlooked this in figuring out what songs I think are the best songs ever. The mandolin is harmonic, but jarring at the same time, and pairs perfectly with the vocals. The lyrics are simply beautiful, vaguely painful, and poetic. It gives off so much emotion, without trying too hard. Michael Stipe's voice makes me feel every emotion all at once, and his dancing in this video makes my heart sing.

And...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZG72J2ylUGE&ob=av2n

Which I have always enjoyed, but only recently have I gained a massive appreciation for the lyrics. "I'm waiting for a revelation, I'm waiting for someone to count me in, Cause now I only see my dreams, in everything I touch, feeling cold hands on every thing that I love, cold like some magnificent skyline, out of my reach but always in my eye line." There is some emotion embedded in those words that is really hard to describe, but somehow these lyrics explain it perfectly.

K.D.

Ugh. I'm dying.

Theorem: Formal logic training blows.

Proof: Suppose R is a relation on MxS where M is the set of all math courses and S is the set of all students dumb enough to take math courses. Consider xRs, we see that for all s, if x=sets and logic, then s will be mind numbingly bored. Now considering lemma 15, pertaining to x and s, we see that if s is mind numbingly bored, x likes wankers in its mouth. Thus, if x is sets and logic, x blows.

QED bitches.

Frat girls

A dictionary of "little sisters"

(Insert Greek Letters) Groupie: Often a wallflower at parties, but she is at every formal (always with a different brother). I once heard of such a creature that slept with 6 brothers in two months...and they still let her hang out there.

(Insert Greek Letters) Sweetheart: A girlfriend, basically. She's been dating one brother for a while now. She's at formals, but she is purposefully a shadow at parties.

(Insert Greek Letters) Princess: She's friends with somebody (?). She is the life of every party, but is rarely asked to formal as a last resort. I mean, we can't have someone dancing on tables and dominating at cham-pong when we're trying to get with boring flusies.

Oh well, to the cocksuckers go the spoils. Right?

CARL

Life's too short to even care at all.

I finished my last exam before finals yesterday. We had a really amazing Veterans' Day ceremony where a WW2 vet came and talked to us and chorale sang. My best friend got to talk to Foster the People after their concert in Berlin last night and texted me on her international phone. I'm about to go on a lunch date with a guy. A really nice guy. Stand-by for apocalypse.

CARL

Things were going SO well until you started your crap

Fucking computer. You work, you don't, you work again, but for how long? Haven't I treated you right? I don't give you viruses from porn sites, I don't spill liquids on your keyboard, I don't play WoW. Sure, I may have dropped you... a few times, but really stop being a little bitch. You're a laptop, now get your shit together so I can keep wasting time on facebook!

Sincerely,

Wonky COMMA