I'm coming home in eight days

In nine days I will be home.

I didn't fall in love with Scotland the way some people fall in love with places where they have spent a few fleeting moments of their lives, I had sort of hoped to fall in love with it that way. The way that I have fallen in love with the Smokies and the keys. I think I could fall in love with the countryside, because it is beautiful and it feels like home. But not this city. And certainly not when I have such negative feelings about what I spend all my time doing. There is a post back some ways where I am talking about being exited to learn about gravitational waves. I resent this subject so much now that I wish I could go back in time and smack that girl.

I did fall in love with some of the people here. A few of them are absolutely wonderful. It's odd to think that I might not ever see these people that I love so dearly ever again.

I'm not sure why I'm awake. I'm so exhausted from travelling around so much this weekend. It probably has something to do with the over 10 hours of sleep I got last night. Or maybe it was the light drinking that I did earlier in the day. Or the large coffee that followed the drinking and kept me company on the train. Whatever the reason may be, I am going to pay for this tomorrow.

I kind of just want to skip out on my life for a while. Quit school and do something else. But that's all a bad idea considering things, and whatever loafing around it is that I feel like doing can wait a few years until its a reasonable thing to do.

I miss my bed. I miss my dogs. I miss my bathroom. I miss my friends and family. I miss the freedom of my car. It's amazing how trapped I feel without a car. I don't know how people in cities go their whole lives depending on trains and buses and having absolutely no autonomy about coming and going as they please. It just might be the thing I miss most about home. Not feeling trapped.

I also miss the chicken wings and sweet tea and the Gulf of Mexico.

Corey told me happy birthday. Sometimes I think about the year of my life when he was not quite so different from me and we were such close friends. I do miss that person he used to be when he and I were good friends.

Sometimes I say weird things and mean them with complete sincerity and I wont think them weird at all, but the person I am talking to thinks it is weird, so I guess I'm weird sometimes. Or someone told me "eccentric". I guess you'll just have to tell me.

all of my love,

K.D.