Note to self:

Stop drinking whiskey once you're a little drunk. We need to stop making this "sleeping on the bathroom floor" thing happen.

It never ends...

Even my bagel-procurement stand is ominous.

Making babies

It's just a typical Tuesday. Playing God with a population of gametes in my Hardy Weinberg Equilibrium simulator. It's kind of like The Sims without the bear skin rug and the weird language.

CARL (determined to revive this blog)

Norms

Living by myself for so long has allowed me to explore unconventional seating arrangements. Imagine what I would be like with zero social pressure. Probably a chimpanzee.

Bromance

"Look, baby, this is your old tooth-brushing glass. I kept it all the time to remind me of you."

"To remind you to brush your teeth."

"No. I have my own too. I kept this to remind me of you trying to brush away the Villa Rossa from your teeth in the morning, swearing and eating asprin and cursing harlots. Every time I see that glass I think of you trying to clean your conscience with a toothbrush...I will wait till I see the Anglo-Saxon brushing away harlotry with a toothbrush."

A Farewell to Arms - Ernest Hemingway

I kept reading this over and over again because it's too adorable and funny. I miss y'all.

CARL

Every time I hear this song...

I want to do this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t8GdtYdRk0

wC

One more time, perhaps...

I need the current addresses for Cari and Lea, please... This should be the last time for a while. ;)

~bj

Pretense.

Being the 10th douchebaggyest wasn't good enough for me. I had to go for numero uno.

http://www.gq.com/entertainment/humor/201108/douchiest-colleges-america-2011#slide=1

CARL

:)

Thanks, Kelsey, for the warm wishes, and thanks to everyone for coming to my big day. We had a really, really great time, and we hope you did too!

Here are a couple of pictures, just for fun.