Why do you have the strong urge to get into a fist fight after you get out of class?
A) Professor is a dickbag, 80% of the lecture he just gave served only to dismay and confuse.
B) Other students are annoying, inconsiderate dickbags.
C) You are hungry.
D) All of the fucking a-bove.
Seriously, bitches at the end of the isle like to take a full 5 goddamn minutes to get their shit together and leave so we middle of the isle people can get out. Seriously motherfucker, if I'm standing here waiting to get out, don'tcha think maybe you might want to move faster than the speed of Moses' fucking grandma.
One of the afforementioned isle blocking digbags left her shit all over the floor and her desk popped up, so even though she has gone, still no one can get out. Then, as the entire class gathers into a 5 foot wide passage to collect their graded shit from the massive piles the TA's have bestowed upon us, the motherfucker thinks its a good goddamn location to just go ahead and review the shit she just got back. Go ahead, don't worry, it's not like us 40 other people want to get to where you're standing so we can leave, just fucking take your time reading your shit. Bitch, I will cut you.
Also, dear bitches, keep walking four across the goddamn sidewalk like no one else could possibly be walking the other direction as you, after that goddamn class I will happily hip check and shoulder charge every one of you motherfuckers.
And perhaps, when we get to the bus stop, ya think we could not stop the instant we get into the shade and our eyes cry out in relief from the eternal glare of the burning bastard in the sky, maybe try reasonably dispersing ourselves under the cover so that those of us arriving after you don't have to play goddamn red rover to get the sun out of our eyes. I don't know if you know this, but you morons have managed to create a blockade of human meat across one of the busiest sidewalks on campus, which explains why that big stream of people that just got off the bus had to tackle some of you to get through. I know, you were confused about why that kept happening.
Also, it's December, why is it goddamn 75 degrees outside? My winter themed piping hot beverages are desperately incongruous. This is bullshit.
And, yesterday, barista bitch gave me what tasted like a goddamn eggnog + pumpkin spice latte, with like 5 extra shots of simple syrup, when I ordered a caramel brulee latte. Bitch, this cost $5 and what it's supposed to be is written right on the goddamn cup. And then, I couldn't take it back then because I was on the precipice of taking 2 hour exam when I discovered this. And I couldn't wait until after the exam to take it back, because, uh hello, it was my coffee for a 2 hour exam. Even more bullshit.
all of my love,
K.D.
