(On bad boys)

I do understand the appeal of wanting to spend time with a man based solely on his physical appearance, but you always have options. Instead of actually dating somebody like that, you need to have a bit of self-respect--so have a one-night stand with him and then move on. A guy like that is usually only good for sex anyway, and even that wears off once you firgure out he eats Marlboros for breakfast.
-Chelsea Handler

Sorry for two slutty posts in a row, but this was too funny not to share. It is in May's Cosmo which I am going to pretend I bought just because it had Hayley Williams on the cover.

CARL

Why I wear python cowboy boots:

Reason 1:
It takes serious balls to approach a girl wearing python cowboy boots. Thus, it eliminates frivolous conversation with pansy motherfuckers.

Reason 2:
Python cowboy boots are luxurious and they can hold necessary accessories such as a phone and a card wallet. They therefore eliminate the need to carry (and probably drunkenly misplace) a designer handbag.

Reason 3:
FUCKING BOOTFLASK!

nerd sniping

I just read the words "gravitational waves" and grinned uncontrollably and became excited for a second at the prospect of learning about them at some point. There may be something wrong with me.

K.D.

Hey yo Bethany!

Have you sent out your save the dates yet? Just wanna make sure it wasn't lost in the mail or anything :)

mo

So today...

I had a man who achieved his undergrad in literature (not that there is a damn thing wrong with that), and continued to become an evolutionary biologist that studies social systems, inform me that evolution was the basis of all science, proceed to affirm that all science is unequivocally rooted in evolution (in more or less words), and then he proceeded to list out ecology, physiology, and various forms of sociology as "all science."

Fantastic.

K.D.

Drunken Gummi Bears

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2Ggq1A/www.instructables.com/id/Drunken-Gummies-Vodka-Infused-Gummi-Bears/step1/Wait-for-it/

How to trap a hipster

J'hate daylight savings time. It's already 8-o-clock! I have done nothing all day! I googled us today for fun, we are the first and only (as far as I saw) lisforgifted. Go us!

WonkY COMMA

Paging Dr. Faggot... Dr. Faggot...

My penis and ears have lately become connected...now, if a hot chick says something stupid, it don't work. "Coldplay is awesome." You broke it.

What does it mean when you have a crystallizing moment of understanding redox reactions while in your sleep? Something awesome, or terrible? Either way, spring break needs to be here, and until then I will eat pretty much just popcorn and coffee and listen to The Killers and Coldplay. College.

K.D.

I never had a summer of '69...

Bloody Mary's lackin' in tobasco. Orgo: mind expanding? mind exploding? mind exfoliating? Yes. Save some face, you know you've only got one. There's a pretty bitchin' blanket fort in mine and Lea's living room right now. I must confess, my heart's in broken pieces and my head's a mess. I'm gonna be belligerated over spring break, and am hoping to do so with my non fla residing gorgeous gals. You bought a new bag of pot so let's make a new start, and that's the way to my heart...the way to my heart. Anyone else want to see Rango? I know I do. I fall asleep with my friends around me, only place I know I feel safe, I'm gonna call this home. So, talk guys on the flip flop later. Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

K.D.