"What is toast?"

Toast is when you take a piece of bread - What is bread? Bread is when you take some flour - What is flour? We'll skip that part, it's too complicated. Bread is something you can eat, made from a ground-up plant and shaped like a stone. You cook it..Please, why do you cook it? Why don't you just eat the plant? Never mind that part - Pay attention. You cook it, and then you cut it into slices, and you put a slice of bread in the toaster, which is a metal box that heats up with electricity - What is electricity? Don't worry about that. While the slice is in the toaster, you get out the butter - butter is a yellow grease, made from the mammary glands of - skip the butter. So, the toaster turns the slice of bread black on both sides with smoke coming out, and then this "toaster" shoots the slice up into the air, and it falls onto the floor...
"Forget it...Let's try again." Toaster was a pointless invention of the Dark Ages. Toast was an implement of torture that caused all those subjected to it to regurgitate in verbal form the sins and crimes of their past lives. Toast was a ritual item devoured by fetishists in the belief that it would enhance their kinetic and sexual powers. Toast cannot be explained by any rational means.

Toast is me.

I am toast.


from Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood

CARL

P.S.Our newest fundraiser in ROTC is betting on which guy can grow the best 'stache. Awesome.I ate dinner with Scott tonight and we talked about how much we hate K. Brooksville.

bethany thinks...

sucks.

these made me think of you guys :)

love you all very much.
christina

That guys face was creeping me out...

I hate the addition of unnecessary vowels to words such as me and hey. Meee, just looks retarded. As does heeeeyy. Do it once or twice for phonetic emphasis, OK. Do it every time you type the word and you aggravate the bageezes out of me. And you are officially labeled retarded. I also hate the word "muh".

K.D.

We watched Colbert in my physics lecture yesterday.

It was Kelser heaven. My instructor thinks this guy looks weird, but People Magazine and I think he's hot.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Brian Cox
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor U.S. Speedskating

CARL

P.S. I bought a big bag cookies today because I'm PMSing and Google has the Cookie Monster on it.

Duh Duh Duh Duh Na Na Na Na Na

Grown up, she just turned 16
Stuck in the moment
Dead at the scene
And it's on tonight
This is life that you wanted, right?
So turn off all the lights
She's dressed up just like a movie star
At all the parties they'll know who you are
Wouldn't it be great, to be fashionably late
So why don't you wait til you're sedated...

Don't it feel like somethin's not right in his kiss tonight?

Yeah what I'm sayin is do you, do you wanna lose it all
Cause this is more than just a dance hall drug
You can't wait to fall in love
All I'm saying is do you, do you wanna learn to fly?
Than you should pack it up and say good bye
Cause when the push comes to the shove
Its just a dance hall drug

Step in, and you can lock the door
The candles are lit, and the clothes on the floor
You can take a chance
On finding romance
Now you're holding hands
But he's got other plans
Tick-tock the clock is turning red
The room won't stop spinning and thoughts in your head
And it's too late
You feel like you're making a big mistake
You should've waited

Don't it feel like somethin's not right in his kiss tonight?

Yeah what I'm sayin is do you, do you wanna lose it all
Cause this is more than just a dance hall drug
You can't wait to fall in love
All I'm saying is do you, do you wanna learn to fly?
Than you should pack it up and say good bye
Cause when the push comes to the shove
Its just a dance hall drug

Just wait Love
Show 'em what you're made of

Don't it feel like somethin's not right in his kiss tonight?

Do you, do you wanna lose it all?
Cause this is more than just a dance hall drug
You can't wait to fall in love
Do you, do you wanna learn to fly?
Then you should pack it up and say goodbye
Cause when the push comes to the shove
It's just a dance hall drug...
Do you, do you wanna lose it all?
Cause this is more than just a dance hall drug
You can't wait to fall in love
Do you, do you wanna learn to fly?
Then you should pack it up and say goodbye
Cause when the push comes to the shove
It's just a dance hall drug...

So I'm trying to catch a cat...

How unusual for me right? I know. Anyways, I fed it a hotdog. And then an eggroll. And now I am trying to lure it in with some tuna. But I think it is full. I feel bad for it. It hurt its paw. I wish it would come inside and be my kitty. But it is afraid. Or it just doesn't like tuna. But who doesn't like tuna? I got it to come inside with the hotdog. But then it ran away before I could close the door. It really loves hotdogs. I think I will call it Hotdog. I wish Hotdog was not such a fraidy-cat.

K.D.

For Halloween I was the girl dancing like a ho,

but I was dressed like a boy. So my friend and I walked outside of this party and on this 30 degree incline street in Collegetown these kids were doing Hawaiian fire dances with fireballs on the ends of chains and batons. A firetruck comes up the street and the kids just stand on the sidewalk with their fireballs still blazing. The fireman acts like he is going to yell at us and get us in trouble, but he just tells them to stay away from the houses and he sits there to watch the show. They proceed to throw candy at us, say Happy Halloween, and drive away.

I love this place,

I love college.

CARL

I dislike arrogant people...

OK,so this might just be me, but gosh, Galitsky's e-mail about the growl seems totally off base. I'm half tempted to reply to him with a "you're a big jerk" email, but I wont. I mean come off it man, it's a small high school growl, they don't have the money to invest in particularly well done stuff. Especially when that money would be better spent on education, which happens to be the purpose of school. Last time I checked the growl doesn't improve test scores or get us anymore government fundage. Plus its not like SGA can just charge a billion dollars in dues, Hernando aint exactly full of rich kids. Yes, some times there are SNAFUS, but the small number of things I heard from students said that the growl was good. Yes, Galitsky may have been able to do it better, one of the many benefits of being a super nerd, we have all felt like that about our niches at some point, but you can't let that ruin your experience. Sometimes Galitsky just pisses me off with his, "I'm superior and everybody else sucks" attitude. I guess I just suck at dealing with uber type-A pessimists who feel the need to rub their excellence in others faces, seeing as how I am like the exact opposite of that.

Alright, well that was me dealing with my anger in a way that avoided offending Galitsky. Sorry you all had to hear it...

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!
K.D.

No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna grow up to be a junkie.

hey so when does that underwear run happen for ya'll? do you know?