Why I wear python cowboy boots:

Reason 1:
It takes serious balls to approach a girl wearing python cowboy boots. Thus, it eliminates frivolous conversation with pansy motherfuckers.

Reason 2:
Python cowboy boots are luxurious and they can hold necessary accessories such as a phone and a card wallet. They therefore eliminate the need to carry (and probably drunkenly misplace) a designer handbag.

Reason 3:
FUCKING BOOTFLASK!